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Pricing

NEW Age-of-Obama Specials!

In this modern age of changing nations, Rent-a-Negro is here to keep you current! Here is our special Age-of-Obama offerings, perfect for liberal lefties!

Classic Rentals:

• "I'm not racist, I voted for Obama!" $150

• "Racism is over, now a black man is President." $150

• "You should be more like Barack Obama" $300

• "You all have come so far, a black man is now President!"

• Patting yourself on the back for the end of racism while no people of color are in the room (or on your TV show): $500

• Excusing racist cartoons as "regular presidential mockery" $75

• Asking if Obama will be an Uncle Tom (shout-out to Ralph Nader) $1000

New Service:

• Hire a black friend to attend the inauguration or come to a State of the Union party: $250

Event Rates

• Corporate/Business Rate: $350 per hour

• Personal/Private/Individual Rate: $200 per hour     
  

• Non-Profit Rate:  $275 per hour

• Drop-in/Appearances: $200 each

• Informational/High Question Volume: add $100 per hour

• Emergencies/Short Notice (24 hour window): add $150 per hour

Ongoing/Retainer Services

• $15,000 Annually
  (12 Events, 15 Calls, 10 Appearances, 6 Consultations)

Additional Services
• "Help! I need a Black Opinion!" $75 per 30min phone call or
   email (24 hr response time)
  

• Touch Hair: $100 each time

• Touch Skin: $125 each touch

• Compare Your Skin Tone: $150
  

• Say "you look just like..." another black person: $200

• "You're so..." (articulate, clean, well-educated, easy to talk to etc.) $250 per insult couched as praise

• Call him/her "brotha," "bro," "brah," "sista," "girlfriend" or "gurrrl": $150 each time

• Use of "African American slang." $100 each

• Dance Lessons for the Rhythm-Challenged: $250 hour

• Challenging Racist Family Members: add $500 per person

• Racist Guests at Event: add $500 per event (per racist)

• "Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch
  

• "Just let it go." Overlooking racism: $1500 per incident



Payment
accepts all major credit cards. For drop-in/appearances, payment in full is due at time of confirmation. Otherwise, a 50% deposit is due upon confirmation; with the remainder to be paid upon arrival at event. Retainer services are paid quarterly.

Ready to Rent?
Simply fill out a Rental Request.
You will be enjoying our product very soon! It's that easy!

Retroactive Billing
If you have received any of the above services prior to June 1, 2003, you may receive a retroactive invoice for services rendered. Please attend to this bill in a timely fashion. You value your reputation, so we know you want to resolve your outstanding debts. Affirmative discount: Tally your own retroactive bill, send payment... and deduct 5%!